what else now?

things started out good and then all of a sudden i started to drown. when trouble comes it comes like a flood. it just takes its nasty self and wash all of you and your loved ones. thanksgiving just past and i am thankful. thankful for my family and friends and my health. God has been really good to me. every since i have rededicated my life back to him, i have had nothing, but blessings and enlightenment. don't get me wrong, i have had some issues that i have had to deal with, but what does not kill you makes you stronger. nothing could be finer than thanksgiving with the kiddies!!! the two nephews and my lovely kitty were hilarious! a natural hoot!!

the newest edition

trying to teach themselves how to ride a bike

the kids got to eat first!

ohhhh I forgot!!!!!!!

My sister had her baby on Thursday, September 2, 2010.  He is the sweetest piece of something.  He makes me feel like the only girl in the world.  I told my sister that he was my baby until he turns three. LOL. She started laughing and said that I can not just rent a baby.  Maybe I can and maybe I can not.


lovely baby Jordon



summer breeze, makes me feel fine

Yesterday was Labor Day and it was a very chill day for me and the fam. Love and I played video games most of the morning while the kids watched us. They are so dang loud. My daughter copies everything that my nephew does. It is crazy because it turns into a competition that never ends! My mother and sisters decided to grill out and wanted me to light the coals. Why in the world would they ask me to play with fire I will never know. The middle sister decided to buy Kitty and JJ (the nephew) a water slide to play on. Crazy thing to do when Kitty thinks that anything with water is bath time. She tried to wash her hair in the sprinkler!!! Sometimes I wonder about her and pray that God allows her to be a very smart child when she grows up. I also realized how much I have to lose weight today. I was not happy with my photos and it made me sad. Sad enough to put that second hot dog down, but I did eat that chicken because it was tasty!!! I also did some online shopping, well, online window shopping and the sales were phenomenal. I think I may have to treat myself to somethings if I can reach my fitness goal by October. I will be truly happy for that. Got to get right for that two piece (not speaking about the wing and thigh meal at Wife Saver which I do enjoy with a biscuit!!!).

lighting up that grill and praying the house does not catch on fire!

my daughter loves to stay clean no matter what!

tattoo

I think I want another tattoo.  Actually I think I want 3 more.  I am a little conflicted because I have not really researched what the Bible says about them, but many people have told me that your body is a temple and that you are not suppose to defile your body.  I believe that tattoos are beautiful and they are like earrings and necklaces.  At least that is what I think.  Love is in limbo about my additional tattoo choices and I really do not know what to think at this point.  I will pray about it some more and see if my mind will change my opinion. 

So, the latest episode of Bleach came out on yesterday and I am so mad, but excited! They really left me feeling so drained. I was on the edge of my seat the whole entire time.  I love this show so very, very much.  Something about it just makes me feel so great.  I think I may remove my facebook, but then what if I get famous or something!!!!

Bleach, can't stop watching it!!!

i miss you

i feel like i never see you even though you are right there.
sometimes i feel like screaming. i can't see you.
i try to send you an email or text, but nothing.
i don't know how to figure this out.
it is driving me crazy and i think i will lose my mind.
where are you and where did you go?????!!!!
oh, there you are. i thought i lost you. i love you.
i love you. i love you. don't you know i love you.

Family Time!

It has been a minute since I have blogged. I need to get on a schedule, but sometimes I get so preoccupied with other things that I just forget what was on my schedule of things to do. I am still trying to decide if the family is going to be taking a vacation this year. I have so many things to save up for that I do not want to spend money unless really needed, but I really want need a vacation. The whole family needs a vacation with some one on one family time. I am currently in school and if I buckle down and hustle, I will be able to graduate May 2011. That is my ultimate goal right now besides paying some bills that are long overdue. Right now my favorite past time to release the stress is playing video games, working out on the wii, and watching my favorite anime Bleach. I love that show so much. I watch it religiously just as if I would watch Law and Order Criminal Intent.

dog gone silly!!!!!

So a couple of months ago we acquired a family dog.  His name is Mugen Asif.  Before I took the plunge and moved back home with mommie, he was living with me and getting on my last nerves.  He would wake up every morning at 6am for no apparent reason even when I had already taken him out to pee.  Now that he is staying with Love full-time and I have made a bond with him that is so special that I even let him sit in my lap.  If you watch a lot of anime then you know what show Mugen is from!!!

i think i love him more now that i can get sleep

sometimes he likes to show us his special secret things :)

teach me how to dougy????!!!!!

Ok. So I was driving back from dropping off my daughter and my nephew at school and the radio was messing up so I changed it and ran across this song talking about how he was going to teach some girl how to dougy!!! What the mess is that and why would anyone want to learn how to do that? I just feel as though our music selection for young adults is going down hill.  What happen to the appreciation of Jazz or NeoSoul or Classic Hip Hop where people talked about what kind of food they ate and how hot it was outside.  Now music is just full of mess and no one really thinks about how stupid it sounds or how dumb we look as a people listening to the madness, mayhem, and foolishness. I know I will not add to the mess by listening to it or by burning any cds!

I want to go on vacation and I think I will.  It has been so hot this summer that I don't even want to go outside to get the mail.  I knew we were not going anywhere this summer because Kitty does not like heat and she will act a fool if there is no air flowing.  We have decided to take a vacation in December.  That way it is cooler and less expensive.  Hopefully the Wii Fit Plus will get me into shape so that I can get into a two piece and show off for Love!!!

makes me want to scream

I sometimes ask myself why is it that I make decisions that I really do not want to make.  Sometimes I think that I am stronger that I really am and that I can deal with it, but then reality strikes and I realize that I can not and that someone probably needs to punch me in the face to wake me up to the reality that I clearly can not see. But then there are those times when I do something and no matter what happens that makes it feel like a bad idea, I still feel peace about it when I go to sleep.  I guess all of this is a mess because I am a little bit of a mess.  I guess that is why sometimes I just want to scream because I am so freaking weird.  I like being weird.  FYI, I really really REALLY need to clean up my room and as soon as I do that I will have pics of my little piece of comfort. 

move completed!

I finally completed the move. It was not as swift as I thought it would be.  Love helped me and he told me that I need to have a week to prep before any future move.  It was a very messy move.  I will never do that again without going through things before the move. Things are going good though. Mother is not going bonkers and the children are getting along good.  The only thing is that the kids are in the room together and they do not like going to sleep.  Who does?! Anywho, I have my own little room which actually is like having a little studio apt. I have my office area and living room area and on the other side is my bedroom area.  I may take pictures and post them when my room is clean and better organized.  Right now there are freaking clothes everywhere. More to come. More to come.

kitty

Yesterday was Kitty's day of birth.  It was pretty ordinary. Love and I went to church and she went to go play with her cousin at my mom's house.  It was pretty simple.  I don't really think she cared too much because she really does not know what a birthday is since she turned 2.  I did make a major decision and decided to move on back to the homestead. The move will be happening this week.  I am actually pretty darn excited. Let us see how this goes.

sometimes my daughter scares even me!!!

yummy gummy style

So I am following this girl named Lily's blog called Bleed for Fashion.  I believe that she has great style. She has a unique style where she does whatever she wants and puts things together that some people otherwise would not. I love it.  I used to dress like that back in the day when I was cool. Unfortunately, people talked about me and hurt my feelings. cry cry. But since I have been reading her blog, I think I am going to start back channeling what I feel is my personal sense of style.  Love will not like it so much because he says that my style can be a little "too" much, but what I see in my mind just has to come out and I think I am going to start letting it come out even more. The main thing is that I own my own business right from my little house so I can wear whatever I want to wear and do what I want to do. So there. LOL. Any who, Love got a text one day that cracked him up for like two days.  I will now post the picture that will forever haunt me. Viewer beware!!!!

ohhh my birthday!!!!

I have been out of the loop for awhile because I have been working like a slave dog! I am trying to pay off somethings before I embark on the journey of marriage next year! Yep! We finally set a new better date for the wedding which is November 12, 2011.  I really like the date because it is 11/12/11. That is so freaking neat to me.  Any who, my bday was Thursday, July 8 and Love bought me what I have been wanting for longest freaking time........the Wii Fit Plus!!!! That thing is so awesome.  It has pet stats and baby stats, it calculates your exact weight and bmi, it has games that you love and you burn calories without even thinking that you are. The thing is addictive too.  I can not stay away from it. I am having so much fun and losing weight in the process. Who in the world has fun losing weight? The great thing about it is that it acts as a personal trainer without the extra money! Anyone who has been to the gym knows the aggravation with fighting for the elliptical or waiting for the skinny people to get off of the NordicTrac.  I do not have to go through that anymore!!!! I spend 3 hours at the gym which include 30 minutes looking for a park, 1 hour waiting for people skinner than me to get off the machines, and 30 minutes actually working out.  Now I can workout in the privacy of my own home for as long as I want.  I really think that all gyms should have a fat person priority list.  I mean anyone that may be a little overweight like me needs to have the first crack at the machines.  I am sorry, but those people who are already fit need to wait. Really, we biggies need a chance to get fit too.  Any who, buy the Wii Fit Plus! Nintendo needs to send me a check for the advertisement!!!! LOL!

black and white

I love black and white photos and it seems that Love loves taking photos of me in black and white as well. He has some of me that he got developed that I need to scan and add to my computer. He takes pictures in his spare time which is not that much. We are usually doing something else like playing video games.

sometimes....

I really, really love my child. She is a joy in my life and there is nothing that I would not do for her. However, she has been driving me crazy this past month. She sometimes screams for no reason just to get her way. When we go out and I am getting her out of the car to go into any store, she wants to be carried and she will scream like she just got stabbed if I even placed her on the ground to walk! It makes me look like a bad mother and/or like I abuse my child. She really does not want to walk when we go out in public, but she wants to run around the house and when we go to the park. The worse thing about this is when she is with Love she does not act up. She will not cry nor will she whine. All he has to do is give her this face and she is perfectly fine. I am still trying to figure out if this a part of her personality to whine or if I just babied her too much when she was little. I guess I will fine out in due time. She may just be trying to find herself since she will be two next month. This is truly a learning experience for me!!!

to exercise or not to exercise?

I am getting married, but the happiness left me once I stepped into David's Bridal and realized that I could not just try on a dress off the rack and I was going to have to order my dress in a "special" size. What the shannanagins???!!! I have never ever been skinny, but I have never been 600 pounds either. After I had my daughter, I lost a good bit of weight. I guess we were not as activity as I would have wanted to be because now I can not fit into the size I used to be. Okay, if you want to know it was a size 8 which I am far from at this time. Fine. Now I am a size 14. Man. I hate to say it, but those late night Snickers and McDonald's double cheeseburgers did not help me prepare for the wedding dress finding. Any who, because I would like to have the option of trying on as many dresses as I want to see which ones I like best, I have decided to work my little butt off. Well, actually work my stomach off cause I need what little of my butt I have to stay. I got up this morning and went through the ondemand on Comcast for a workout routine I could do as far as cardio. I used to run, but since I stopped my knees hurt really bad when I try now so I am trying to find something low contact, but not low intensity. I found this walking program that is for 45 minutes. I was like okay this should be great. Walking kicked my butt!!!! I was panting and sweating and looking like a fool all over my house!!! Who would have thought walking would almost kill me!!!! It was so intense that I do not know if I will do it again. My eyes even hurt! My eyes! I know I probably will lose all the weight I need to lose and tone up in about a month or two just doing this for like 4 to 5 times a week, but will I live to see myself in a wedding dress when I am done???!!

Praying for just enough?

I have been doing a lot of reading this Spring. Mostly about money management, but I did manage to read a book about studying my bible and participating in church. I am a christian and I attend a non-denominational church. My pastor preaches all the time about how we should pray for what we want and not just what we need. He constantly says that God is a very loving and gracious God and he does not want us to be broke or living paycheck to paycheck. I used to attend a baptist church and I felt like I was constantly being told just to pray for what I needed. I would pray just for what I needed and I did receive it, but I only received just that. I never got anything more. As a child, I always wondered about this and thought why would God give us just enough. If he always gave us just enough then we would always be just a little over broke. We would never be able to help anyone because we would not have enough to do so. Not many people understand this concept and feel that we should not bother God with so much of our issues. That is like an insult to God. God is all powerful and mighty so why can we not bother him? He said he would take care of us and provide us with all we want and need. To treat him as if he is just a small fry is liking saying I only trust you with this and I will fix the rest myself. God wants you to have everything you need and want. When you have an abundance you can share it with others and by sharing it with others you will be sharing the blessings and spreading the word of God. Look to your bible. It tells you everything you need to know. Interpret it the way it is. Don't let anyone tell you what it is suppose to say. Know for yourself what it says.

new channels added to my tv life

So, yesterday was "Family Day". Love (my fiance) went to church and Kitty (my daughter) spent the weekend with her grandmother, aunt, and cousin. We usually go to church on Sundays and then come and watch movies. Kitty was so worn out after we picked her up from my mother's house that she went straight to sleep when we got home. Since she went straight to sleep we were able to watch "big kid" movies. We didn't. Instead we watched Confessions of a Shopaholic which was surprisingly funny and cute. I was going to watch the new season of Bridezillas, but realized that I did not have the upper tier channels! What the heck??!! All that money I pay to Comcast and I still do not have all the available channels. Most of the best stuff comes on the upper division channels such as Snapped maratons on Oxygen and Law and Order: Criminal Intent marathons on Bravo. Who in their right minds can live without those? Anyway, I called Comcast to add on the channels and they told me they could give them to me for a deal of $9.95 for 12 months. I was like how about free? That is an awesome deal. They said no. I guess that was the cheap in me talking. Needless to say I took the deal and will be able to DVR the next episodes and catch up on the one I missed. I am sorry to say it, but it seems as though I am a reality tv junkie. I don't know what it is about those shows, but I can not change the channel and it bothers me that they have captured me. I think that they are so stupid and probably fluffed up for tv, but it is so funny to watch people act a plain fool on tv.


Anywho, I looked out the window today around noon and realized that my neighborhood has quite the kids in it. I also realized that these kids must be really mature for their age because there was no parent in sight. I do not know what is up with the parents these days, but they must have missed the email about how Summer is kidnapping season. Child molestors love summer because the kids are so freely abundant. It is like a child buffet! I do not understand why parents are so trusting. Kitty will never ever go outside and just play with out their being a gate around our house, me outside with her, or her being with another member of my immediate family. These parents just set the kids free and they are playing right in front of my door. I live in an apartment complex that is pretty big so if I wanted to kidnap a child I could do it and it would take them awhile to find the child. Some people will never learn until their child is snatched up and taken away.

Starting from today....

I tried to start my blog last year and I got off to a really rough start, so I am trying again today. Seems like a missed great opportunities to blog because so many things have been happening in my life. So I am trying to lose weight because I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant with my daughter and was not successfull in losing the weight after she was born. I am now engaged to be married and I can not find a wedding dress that looks good on me because all the dresses make me feel like a blimp. The other day I went outside and realized how hot it was and that I did not have any summer clothes. So today I went on a wonderful trip to get some summer clothes. I had to try on everything because I have not been shopping in forever. I was able to find some great deals and even picked up some items for my little one. However, after leaving the store I felt guilty. I felt like I had wasted money on myself and I could have done something better with that money like buy a new monitor for my computer or put the money in my IRA. The thing is that I have not been shopping in so long and have not done something for myself in so long that I feel guilty now when I do. I obviously have to stop this and start at least buying myself a shirt a week. I work hard and the least I can do is have a clearance shirt or a pair of new shoes. My daughter has more stuff than me and that is just unacceptable. I promised myself I would not let myself go when I had her. I said I was going to be a fun, sexy, hip, and sassy mother and that is what I am going to do. Wow. I had to slap my own self. Now if I could convience myself to exercise more then things would be just right!