Friday, June 25, 2010

black and white



I love black and white photos and it seems that Love loves taking photos of me in black and white as well. He has some of me that he got developed that I need to scan and add to my computer. He takes pictures in his spare time which is not that much. We are usually doing something else like playing video games.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

sometimes....

I really, really love my child. She is a joy in my life and there is nothing that I would not do for her. However, she has been driving me crazy this past month. She sometimes screams for no reason just to get her way. When we go out and I am getting her out of the car to go into any store, she wants to be carried and she will scream like she just got stabbed if I even placed her on the ground to walk! It makes me look like a bad mother and/or like I abuse my child. She really does not want to walk when we go out in public, but she wants to run around the house and when we go to the park. The worse thing about this is when she is with Love she does not act up. She will not cry nor will she whine. All he has to do is give her this face and she is perfectly fine. I am still trying to figure out if this a part of her personality to whine or if I just babied her too much when she was little. I guess I will fine out in due time. She may just be trying to find herself since she will be two next month. This is truly a learning experience for me!!!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

to exercise or not to exercise?

I am getting married, but the happiness left me once I stepped into David's Bridal and realized that I could not just try on a dress off the rack and I was going to have to order my dress in a "special" size. What the shannanagins???!!! I have never ever been skinny, but I have never been 600 pounds either. After I had my daughter, I lost a good bit of weight. I guess we were not as activity as I would have wanted to be because now I can not fit into the size I used to be. Okay, if you want to know it was a size 8 which I am far from at this time. Fine. Now I am a size 14. Man. I hate to say it, but those late night Snickers and McDonald's double cheeseburgers did not help me prepare for the wedding dress finding. Any who, because I would like to have the option of trying on as many dresses as I want to see which ones I like best, I have decided to work my little butt off. Well, actually work my stomach off cause I need what little of my butt I have to stay. I got up this morning and went through the ondemand on Comcast for a workout routine I could do as far as cardio. I used to run, but since I stopped my knees hurt really bad when I try now so I am trying to find something low contact, but not low intensity. I found this walking program that is for 45 minutes. I was like okay this should be great. Walking kicked my butt!!!! I was panting and sweating and looking like a fool all over my house!!! Who would have thought walking would almost kill me!!!! It was so intense that I do not know if I will do it again. My eyes even hurt! My eyes! I know I probably will lose all the weight I need to lose and tone up in about a month or two just doing this for like 4 to 5 times a week, but will I live to see myself in a wedding dress when I am done???!!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Praying for just enough?

I have been doing a lot of reading this Spring. Mostly about money management, but I did manage to read a book about studying my bible and participating in church. I am a christian and I attend a non-denominational church. My pastor preaches all the time about how we should pray for what we want and not just what we need. He constantly says that God is a very loving and gracious God and he does not want us to be broke or living paycheck to paycheck. I used to attend a baptist church and I felt like I was constantly being told just to pray for what I needed. I would pray just for what I needed and I did receive it, but I only received just that. I never got anything more. As a child, I always wondered about this and thought why would God give us just enough. If he always gave us just enough then we would always be just a little over broke. We would never be able to help anyone because we would not have enough to do so. Not many people understand this concept and feel that we should not bother God with so much of our issues. That is like an insult to God. God is all powerful and mighty so why can we not bother him? He said he would take care of us and provide us with all we want and need. To treat him as if he is just a small fry is liking saying I only trust you with this and I will fix the rest myself. God wants you to have everything you need and want. When you have an abundance you can share it with others and by sharing it with others you will be sharing the blessings and spreading the word of God. Look to your bible. It tells you everything you need to know. Interpret it the way it is. Don't let anyone tell you what it is suppose to say. Know for yourself what it says.

Monday, June 7, 2010

new channels added to my tv life

So, yesterday was "Family Day". Love (my fiance) went to church and Kitty (my daughter) spent the weekend with her grandmother, aunt, and cousin. We usually go to church on Sundays and then come and watch movies. Kitty was so worn out after we picked her up from my mother's house that she went straight to sleep when we got home. Since she went straight to sleep we were able to watch "big kid" movies. We didn't. Instead we watched Confessions of a Shopaholic which was surprisingly funny and cute. I was going to watch the new season of Bridezillas, but realized that I did not have the upper tier channels! What the heck??!! All that money I pay to Comcast and I still do not have all the available channels. Most of the best stuff comes on the upper division channels such as Snapped maratons on Oxygen and Law and Order: Criminal Intent marathons on Bravo. Who in their right minds can live without those? Anyway, I called Comcast to add on the channels and they told me they could give them to me for a deal of $9.95 for 12 months. I was like how about free? That is an awesome deal. They said no. I guess that was the cheap in me talking. Needless to say I took the deal and will be able to DVR the next episodes and catch up on the one I missed. I am sorry to say it, but it seems as though I am a reality tv junkie. I don't know what it is about those shows, but I can not change the channel and it bothers me that they have captured me. I think that they are so stupid and probably fluffed up for tv, but it is so funny to watch people act a plain fool on tv.


Anywho, I looked out the window today around noon and realized that my neighborhood has quite the kids in it. I also realized that these kids must be really mature for their age because there was no parent in sight. I do not know what is up with the parents these days, but they must have missed the email about how Summer is kidnapping season. Child molestors love summer because the kids are so freely abundant. It is like a child buffet! I do not understand why parents are so trusting. Kitty will never ever go outside and just play with out their being a gate around our house, me outside with her, or her being with another member of my immediate family. These parents just set the kids free and they are playing right in front of my door. I live in an apartment complex that is pretty big so if I wanted to kidnap a child I could do it and it would take them awhile to find the child. Some people will never learn until their child is snatched up and taken away.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Starting from today....

I tried to start my blog last year and I got off to a really rough start, so I am trying again today. Seems like a missed great opportunities to blog because so many things have been happening in my life. So I am trying to lose weight because I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant with my daughter and was not successfull in losing the weight after she was born. I am now engaged to be married and I can not find a wedding dress that looks good on me because all the dresses make me feel like a blimp. The other day I went outside and realized how hot it was and that I did not have any summer clothes. So today I went on a wonderful trip to get some summer clothes. I had to try on everything because I have not been shopping in forever. I was able to find some great deals and even picked up some items for my little one. However, after leaving the store I felt guilty. I felt like I had wasted money on myself and I could have done something better with that money like buy a new monitor for my computer or put the money in my IRA. The thing is that I have not been shopping in so long and have not done something for myself in so long that I feel guilty now when I do. I obviously have to stop this and start at least buying myself a shirt a week. I work hard and the least I can do is have a clearance shirt or a pair of new shoes. My daughter has more stuff than me and that is just unacceptable. I promised myself I would not let myself go when I had her. I said I was going to be a fun, sexy, hip, and sassy mother and that is what I am going to do. Wow. I had to slap my own self. Now if I could convience myself to exercise more then things would be just right!